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各位大神帮忙看看这篇雅思作文能得多少分??

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各位大神帮忙看看这篇雅思作文能得多少分??
Mobile phones and the Internet are useful tools.
However, not many elderly people use them. In what ways can mobile phones and
the Internet be useful to elderly people? How can elderly people be encouraged
to use them?
In a multicultural
society, technology has revolutionised the way we communicate. Mobile phones
and the Internet, now, are essential for us. But only a few elderly individuals
use them. The reason is that they do not know how to use them. Thus, their
adult children would be well-advised to spend time teaching them how to use mobile
phones and the Internet.

Nowadays many
elderly individuals live apart from their adult children because their children
need to work outside. Thus, they always feel lonely and isolated. Mobile phones
and the Internet are pretty useful tools which are beneficial to their
emotional health. If they meet something urgent or trouble, they can use mobile
phones to communicate with their adult children and keep in touch with them
especially for the old who live alone. Most of the old do not need to work so
they only stay at home without any interest. Their adult children would be
well-advised to teach them how to play online games and the Internet provides
reliable weather forecasts and news as their leisure activities.

Thus, some
communities would be well-advised to organize some activities to illustrate
what is the benefit to use the mobile phones and the Internet. The elderly
individuals can learn to use mobile phones and the Internet with their
neighbours. They will find the common interest and be more patient to learn how
to use the mobile phones and the Internet.

To conclude,from
what has been discussed above,I tend to believe that using mobile phones and
the Internet can exercise their brain keeping flexible. However, they cannot
rely too much on the mobile phones and the Internet. The radiation is harmful
to their health so they would be well-advised to limit their time spent on the
Internet.
各位大神帮忙看看这篇雅思作文能得多少分??
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