灵鹊做题网求英语达人批改作文（英专一年级）
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：灵鹊做题网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/05/13 04:48:54
求英语达人批改作文（英专一年级）
Business should hire employees for their entire lives.Do you agree or disagree?Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.
Personally,I don't think business should hire employees for their entire lives.Reasons are following.
First of all,after graduation,students are freshmen in the society.Frankly speaking,they aren’t aware of the society sitution and don’t know well about their career.Therefore,they may make wrong choices which may lead to regrets in future.
Besides,business hire employees for their entire lives can limit the employees’ ability and development.If the employees have the chance to work in different companies,more or less,the will tell the differences between companies and learn something good and avoid something bad.Furthermore,they will be more creative and make more contribution to the company.
Working in the same company for the entire lives can make employees not that positive as before.After all,they don't have to worry if they will be fired no matter how they behave.
Considering the above-mentioned factors,I disagree business fire employees for their entire lives.
Business should hire employees for their entire lives.Do you agree or disagree?Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.
Personally,I don't think business should hire employees for their entire lives.Reasons are following.
First of all,after graduation,students are freshmen in the society.Frankly speaking,they aren’t aware of the society sitution and don’t know well about their career.Therefore,they may make wrong choices which may lead to regrets in future.
Besides,business hire employees for their entire lives can limit the employees’ ability and development.If the employees have the chance to work in different companies,more or less,the will tell the differences between companies and learn something good and avoid something bad.Furthermore,they will be more creative and make more contribution to the company.
Working in the same company for the entire lives can make employees not that positive as before.After all,they don't have to worry if they will be fired no matter how they behave.
Considering the above-mentioned factors,I disagree business fire employees for their entire lives.
第一行是题目吧 没有字数要求?我觉得这篇写得太短了.如果是普通作文的话,已经挺好的了,虽然是中国的那种固有格式（也太死板了- -!）,但是没有错的地方.还有你到底想改哪里,语法和结构都没有问题的.
以下只是个人的观点哦,文笔活跃了一点,改了的部分是大写的.
I PERSONALLY DON'T AGREE with COMPANIES hiring employees for their entire lives.I CAN GIVE A LOT OF REASONS FOR THEM NOT TO DO SO.
First of all,EVEN after UNIVERSITY graduation,students are STILL freshmen in the society.Frankly speaking,they aren’t aware of the society sitution (WHAT KIND OF SITUATION?EXPAND)and "don’t know well" (>>MAY NOT HAVE GIVEN MUCH THOUGHT) about their career.（去掉Therefore 没必要写）they may make wrong choices "which may lead to regrets in future"(WHICH THEY MIGHT REGRET LATER).
(Besides 可以去掉!最后一段你不是也没写finally么,注意前后一致哦),COMPANIES HIRING employees for their entire lives can limit employees’ ability and development (of what?expand 不要老说半句话).If the employees CAN have the chance OF WORKING in different companies,more or less,they will BE ABLE TO tell the differences between companies and "learn something good and avoid something bad"(weak!比如什么?什么叫"好",什么叫"坏"?这两个形容词太弱了).Furthermore(去了它如何?),they CAN GET more creative and CAN make more contribution to the company.
"Working in the same company for the entire lives" （有点重复的感觉……但好像又无法避免- ）can make employees not that positive as before.（MAY CONTRIBUTE NEGATIVELY TO EMPLOYEES' ATTITUDE）After all,they don't have to worry ABOUT if they will "be fired" (GET FIRED..or LOSE THEIR JOB...) no matter how they behave.
最后一段总结无可挑剔~如果能扩展开写写就更好了.
以下只是个人的观点哦,文笔活跃了一点,改了的部分是大写的.
I PERSONALLY DON'T AGREE with COMPANIES hiring employees for their entire lives.I CAN GIVE A LOT OF REASONS FOR THEM NOT TO DO SO.
First of all,EVEN after UNIVERSITY graduation,students are STILL freshmen in the society.Frankly speaking,they aren’t aware of the society sitution (WHAT KIND OF SITUATION?EXPAND)and "don’t know well" (>>MAY NOT HAVE GIVEN MUCH THOUGHT) about their career.（去掉Therefore 没必要写）they may make wrong choices "which may lead to regrets in future"(WHICH THEY MIGHT REGRET LATER).
(Besides 可以去掉!最后一段你不是也没写finally么,注意前后一致哦),COMPANIES HIRING employees for their entire lives can limit employees’ ability and development (of what?expand 不要老说半句话).If the employees CAN have the chance OF WORKING in different companies,more or less,they will BE ABLE TO tell the differences between companies and "learn something good and avoid something bad"(weak!比如什么?什么叫"好",什么叫"坏"?这两个形容词太弱了).Furthermore(去了它如何?),they CAN GET more creative and CAN make more contribution to the company.
"Working in the same company for the entire lives" （有点重复的感觉……但好像又无法避免- ）can make employees not that positive as before.（MAY CONTRIBUTE NEGATIVELY TO EMPLOYEES' ATTITUDE）After all,they don't have to worry ABOUT if they will "be fired" (GET FIRED..or LOSE THEIR JOB...) no matter how they behave.
最后一段总结无可挑剔~如果能扩展开写写就更好了.