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我的雅思小作文谁能帮忙改改

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我的雅思小作文谁能帮忙改改
writing test 1
According to the chart that shows some figures of Japanese tourists travelling abroad.From the table we can clearly see that in the year between 1985 and 1995,more and more Japanese perfer to travelling abroad,rather than tour in their own country.
In the 5 years spanning from 1985 through 1990,the figure had a steadly incresase from 4 million to over 10 million.In 1991,the number had decreased.There is a considerable increase occured from 1993 to 1995.There was nealy 4 million growth in the three years spanning from 1993 through 1995.
The second graph which is the persentage of Astralia share of Japanese tourist market.There is 2% Japanese tourist traveled in 1995.From this year on,figure up to the peak.there was a gradual growth in the 1988,the figure reaching near 5%.
In the final analysis,i can conclude that more and more Japanese perfer to travelling abroad.The market is international.
我的雅思小作文谁能帮忙改改
我不知道你的题目是什么,所以很难帮你改,但是你第一句就错了啦.帮你改一下第一段吧.
The charts show the trend of Japanese market from 1985 to 1995 (写这两个图表反映的是什么主体).As shown in the first table,it is clear that Japanese perfer to travelling abroad..(再总括第一个图,之后详细写)(第二段写第2个图,更高层次就要对比两个图的练习和区别的地方)
恕我直言,这篇作文考试中不会超过5分.结构混乱,语法错误也很多.建议你多按图表模板来练习.