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大家帮我改改语法错误吧英语作文

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大家帮我改改语法错误吧英语作文
Advantages and Disadvantage of Private Cars
Nowadays it has become more and more fashionable for many families to buy private cars.In my opinion,buying private cars has both advantages and disadvantages.On the one hand,it is convenient for people to work,have a journey and go everywhere.On the other hand,it may make you spend excessively much time and money in morose things of tending and protecting the car.
One of the important advantages is that it saves us much more time when we go to work,pick up the children and makes our life more convenient.Besides,the automobile is also the driving force of the economy,buying private cars can promote the domestic consumption grow effectively.However,more cars may lead to traffic jams which cause us to waste more time and money in abundant matter things of repairing and nursing.To make matter worse,the automobile’s gas can definitely do harm to our environment.
Through the above analysis,there is no denying the fact that buying private cars has positive aspects as well as negative ones.Taking both of them into account,I suggest that it’s not necessary for us to buy private cars in case of causing the numerous troubles.
大家帮我改改语法错误吧英语作文
个人建议,如果想要同时写买私家车的优缺点,建议先将所有的优点写完,再写缺点.不然会给人造成一种思维、逻辑混乱的感觉.
另外,整篇文章中要保持人称一致,统一用people,就不要再用us
1.On the other hand,it may make you spend excessively much time and money in morose things of tending and protecting the car.
改为:
On the other hand,it may make you spend much more time and money on the maintenance of cars.
2.One of the important advantages is that it saves us much more time when we go to work,pick up the children and makes our life more convenient.
改:
One of the important advantages is that it saves people much more time when they go to work and pick up their children and makes their life more convenient.
3.Besides,the automobile is also the driving force of the economy,buying private cars can promote the domestic consumption grow effectively.
改:
Besides,the automobile is also a driving force of the economy.Buying private cars can promote effectively the growth of domestic consumption.
4.However,more cars may lead to traffic jams which cause us to waste more time and money in abundant matter things of repairing and nursing.
traffic jams 应该不是repairing and nursing的主要原因.而且在这里你又提到买私家车会导致浪费时间,与前面的观点矛盾.这样写的话,会推翻自己前面的观点.建议修改.可从buying private cars will exacerbate the air pollution and traffic jams.等方面.千万注意,不要前后矛盾
5.there is no denying the fact that buying private cars has positive aspects as well as negative ones.
改:
it can't be denied that buying private cars has positive aspects as well as negative ones.
6.Taking both of them into account,I suggest that it’s not necessary for us to buy private cars in case of causing the numerous troubles
这里应该是本文的中心主旨句.但是你需要前面的论据来论证自己的观点.如果你的出发点是要让人们不要去买私家车,那么就可以直接从第一段就摆明自己的观点,而不是两边摇摆,模拟两可,得出的结论也会不具备说服力.
因此,要想说服人们不要买.那么整篇文章都应该要论证买私家车的缺点.有理有据,才能让人信服.
以上是我的建议.