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这篇高中英语作文能得多少分

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这篇高中英语作文能得多少分
请问我写的这篇高中英语作文,如果满分25分,能得到多少分呢?为什么?错误的地方和不足有哪些?
要求:
假如你是李华,于2010年6月3日搭乘国外某航空公司航班回国后,发现遗失了一个行李箱.现请用英文给该航空公司写一封信,请他们帮你找寻.
作文:
xx airline company:
I am one of your passengers.My name is Li Hua.I took ur plane to go back to my country on June 3th,2010.However,one of my luggages was unfortunately lost after I got off plane.
I have very important things in my luggage that was lost in the airport.If your crew can find it for me,I will be very thankful.Due to my carelessness,I have to wirte this letter to seek for help.I know what I have done might cause you a lot of trouble.But I promise that I won’t let this happen again.Please help me look for it in the airport.If it is found,please notify me as soon as possible.Thank you again.
Li Hua
October 13th,2010
这篇高中英语作文能得多少分
按照高考评卷标准,你的作文可以得18分左右(各人标准不同).其中问题有:1、称呼:Dear sir/madam较好.2.、I have very important things可以改为I have something important in my luggage...3、时间的写法和位置不对:on June 3th,2010中的3th 应该写成3rd,October 13th,2010 应该写为October 13rd,2010 ;英语信件的时间通常写在右上或左下,不像汉语信件写在右下角.其它还有语言的地道性等.