求英语短剧剧本，急啊！！！

求英语短剧剧本，急啊！！！
1.四人加一旁白，每人五句话左右，不要长的！
2.要搞笑的。
好的再加分！

Napolan and his soldiers（拿破仑这个单词我记不清楚了）
众士兵排列整齐的上。
M: Attention.（立正） Turn right/left. Quick time, march!（齐步走） (吹哨)
Halt!(立定) Turn right/left. At ease!(稍息).Dismiss!(解散)
（在宿舍里）
Ss: Cheer!(干杯)
（班长带着一新士兵推门进来）
M: Hello!Everyone! This is Sam. He is Swede. Today he join us. Let's give
him a warm welcome!
Ss: Welcome! Welcome! (握手、拍肩 和他打招呼，但是他摇摇头)
M: He doesn't know French at all.
Ss: What a pity!
有一天，一个士兵慌慌张张的跑了过来。
A. Monitor! Monitor!
M: What's the matter with you?
A: I hear Napolan will be here in a month.
M: What shall we do?
B. I hear N often asks three quenstions. and often in an order. The first
one is "How old are you?". The second one is "How long have you been in
the Amry?". The third one is "Did you join any of my two compaigns?"
M: All of us have no problem except Sam. He doesn't know French. What
shall we do?
B. I have an idea. From now on all of us teach him the three questions at
any time.
Ss: Good!
各种场合：
睡觉: A: Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
A: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
A: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
吃饭:B:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
B: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
B: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
跑步：C:Sam. How old are you?
Sam:21.sir!
C: How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 3 years sir!
C: Did you join any of my two compaigns?
Sam: Both.sir!
.....
Ss: We believe that's no problem at all.
A:(慌慌张张的) N is coming. N is coming.
(众士兵立正)
N: Hello! Everyone. How are you?
Ss: Fine. Thank you!sir!
Sam 在哆嗦，引起了拿破仑的注意。
N: （走到他的面前）Well. How long have you been in the Army?
Sam: 21 . sir.
N: (非常吃惊的) How old are you?
Sam: (非常自信的) 3 .sir.
N: (生气的) Either you or I am mad!!!!
Sam:(洋洋得意的)Both. sir!!!
Ss: My god!!!
众士兵失望的下场了。