英语翻译I'm the person your mother warned you about.God is dead

英语翻译
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
God is dead and I want His job.
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.
We should forgive our enemies,but only after they've been taken out and shot.
Never kick a man unless he's down.
There is intelligent life on Earth,but I'm just visiting.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
The secret of success is sincerity.Once you can fake that you've got it made.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
How can I love you if you won't lie down
I wear the brains in the family.
There's no future in time travel.
Put on your seatbelt...I wanna try something.
Death is hereditary.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
I'm not unemployed,I'm a consultant
I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
I don't have a license to kill.I have a learner's permit.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
All men are idiots And I married their king.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix.Never drink and derive.
My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
Smile,it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
A day without sunshine is like night.
Excuse,but do I look like someone who cares?
Do not disturb I'm disturbed enough already.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I couldn't repair your brakes,so I made your horn louder.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

我是您的母亲警告您的人.上帝是死的,并且我想要他的工作.感觉在是悲观的它不会无论如何运作.在他们去掉和射击之后,我们应该原谅我们的敌人,但.除非他是下来,不要踢一个人.有智能生物在地球上,但我是正义参观.工作是饮用的类的诅咒.成功秘密是真诚.一旦您能伪造您有它做了.我不是一样沉默寡言的,象您看.如果您不会躺下,怎么能我爱你?我在家庭佩带脑子.没有未来在时间旅行.投入您的seatbelt… 我想要尝试某事.死亡是遗传性的.摔打5时仓促-留下工作在中午.我不是失业的,我是顾问 我抱歉我忘记的我的缺点您是蠢货.我不需要一个执照杀害.我有学习者的许可证.那里a将… 我想要是在它.所有人是蠢货,并且我与他们的国王结婚.酒精和微积分不混合.不要喝并且获得.我的狗能舔任何人.在我的头脑外面… 在五分钟之内.人们象您是原因人民象我需要疗程.有许多血液在我的酒精系统.微笑,它是您能用您的嘴唇做的第二个最佳事.没有阳光的一天是象夜.借口,但我是否看似关心的人?不要干扰我已经被干扰足够.麻烦以生活是那里是没有背景音乐.如果您两次,有害怕的一半死亡什么发生?我不可能修理您的闸,因此我使您的垫铁更加大声.谁是一般失败和为什么是读我的硬盘的他?