灵鹊做题网这是我的介绍自己的英语文章,给个评价,说说哪里要删改
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：灵鹊做题网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/06/16 05:40:13
这是我的介绍自己的英语文章,给个评价,说说哪里要删改
My name is Yang Yilun,this is my Chinese name.And my English name is Allen.I was born in 1998,so,I'm twelve years old now.I'm a student,I'm study at Guangzhou overseas Chinese foreigin language school.I'm in Grade Seven.I want to be a boss when I grow up,because
My name is Yang Yilun,this is my Chinese name.And my English name is Allen.I was born in 1998,so,I'm twelve years old now.I'm a student,I'm study at Guangzhou overseas Chinese foreigin language school.I'm in Grade Seven.I like this school,because I like foreigin very much.I want to be a boss when I grow up,because I think to be a boss can get much money.I like sports,I like football best,and I'm good at it.I also like reading and listen music.I like reading Tiger Team best,there are 35 Tiger Team in my home.In music,I like Michael Jackson's song best.Such as You Are Not Alone,Heal The World and We Are The World.And,I like My Heart Will Go On too,but it isn't Michael Jackson's song,it's Titanic's theme song.In subject,I like history and Gergraphy best,because I think it is very interesting.OK,my introduction is end.After my introduction,do you want wo make friend with me?刚刚没写完就提交了，这才是完整版。
My name is Yang Yilun,this is my Chinese name.And my English name is Allen.I was born in 1998,so,I'm twelve years old now.I'm a student,I'm study at Guangzhou overseas Chinese foreigin language school.I'm in Grade Seven.I want to be a boss when I grow up,because
My name is Yang Yilun,this is my Chinese name.And my English name is Allen.I was born in 1998,so,I'm twelve years old now.I'm a student,I'm study at Guangzhou overseas Chinese foreigin language school.I'm in Grade Seven.I like this school,because I like foreigin very much.I want to be a boss when I grow up,because I think to be a boss can get much money.I like sports,I like football best,and I'm good at it.I also like reading and listen music.I like reading Tiger Team best,there are 35 Tiger Team in my home.In music,I like Michael Jackson's song best.Such as You Are Not Alone,Heal The World and We Are The World.And,I like My Heart Will Go On too,but it isn't Michael Jackson's song,it's Titanic's theme song.In subject,I like history and Gergraphy best,because I think it is very interesting.OK,my introduction is end.After my introduction,do you want wo make friend with me?刚刚没写完就提交了，这才是完整版。
My name is Yang Yilun,中间太罗嗦删掉my English name is Allen.I was born in 1998,【which means】改成定语从句 I'm twelve years old now.I'm a student【in grade 7】加入修饰,更正楼上的欧美人中学就是上到7年级的,很多地区不分初高中都叫highschool.I'm 【studying】语法错误,还有更正楼上的这是现在进行时不是完成时 at Guangzhou overseas Chinese foreigin language school.前面已说,删掉.I want to be a boss when I grow up,because ...继续写下去啊~~My name is Yang Yilun. My English name is Allen. I was born in 1998,which means I'm twelve years old now.I'm a student in grade 7.And I'm studying at Guangzhou Overseas Chinese Foreign Language School.I want to be a boss when I grow up,because ...继续写下去啊~~我用英语挺频繁的,好多朋友都是外国人经常聊天,而且长期上外国网站.改完有语感顺嘴多了,有的地方不要太多什么so and太多余啰嗦,就跟要是有人说话老是恩嗯啊啊的你听着也觉得烦吧?内容其实还能加进去不少,看你想写什么了.不懂或者想写什么可以来问我~用word的批注给你改的,红彤彤一片别介意,你刚学英语也不久慢慢来