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reward for virtue(中译英)大家帮我看一下错在哪里?

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reward for virtue(中译英)大家帮我看一下错在哪里?
Tuesday November.Ninth 2010 Cloudy 15-20 degree Celsius
My friend,Hugh was always very fat,but it became so worse recently that he decided to go on a diet.He started to go on a diet a week ago.First,he wrote a long list of all the foods which were forbidden.Most of the foods in the list loved Hugh,Such as butter,potato,rice,beer,milk,chocolate and sweets.I went to visit him yesterday.I clicked the door bell.When I saw Hugh,who was as fat as usual,I was not surprised at it at all.He let me come into his house and he seemed embarrassed to hurriedly hide a big package under the table.“What are you doing now?” I said.He smiled guiltily.Then he put a big package on the table again.He explained that his plan of going on diet so strict that he had to award himself occasionally.Then he let me see something which was 5 pieces of chocolate and 3 sacks of sweets in his package.
reward for virtue(中译英)大家帮我看一下错在哪里?
写的不错 不要听楼上胡说