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请高手知道我这一骗用过去式写的英文文章,有错一定要指出来,一定给30分

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请高手知道我这一骗用过去式写的英文文章,有错一定要指出来,一定给30分
at one day liuying and liuqian go out for a picnic.they are very happy.they went to the countryside.they played tired later sat down to lunch.suddenly there were black douds and then rain.they hurridly looked for she lter place.they findly found a small wooden hut.that is too bad
请高手知道我这一骗用过去式写的英文文章,有错一定要指出来,一定给30分
liuying and liuqian went out for a picnic at one day..they were very happy.they went to the countryside and played for a long time.They felt very and sat down to have lunch.suddenly there were black douds and then rained.they looked for the shelter hurrily.Finely they found a small wooden hut.That is too pity for a picnic.
我大概改了一下,与原文意思没有差别,要注意时态哟